While I haven’t been able to fully wean myself off of my pseudo-sweet white powder I’ve found a solution that at least helps me to sleep better at night, and that is Splenda piracy. Every addict can't go cold turkey. So instead of paying for the artificial sweetener I pilfer it from any coffee station I can, and if it's at a Starbucks I will do so flippantly and enthusiastically. This way I feel less like I’m directly part of the problem and I'm fulfilling a still-kicking wannabe anarchist punk high-school fantasy of damning "the man." Sure, I’m ingesting animal innards - albeit indirectly - but I’m not lining the insides of any white lab coat pockets in the process either. Moreover if I can steal Splenda from cafes where the behind-the-counter cuties are mistreated, well, then all the better. I’m kind of like Robin Hood, only less Loxley, more herb tea. Unsweetened herb tea, eventually.
I feel a little bad grabbing handfuls of the stuff and shoving them into my sweatshirt pouch but, hey. Save the beagles. And my breakfast.
As a sidebar, my at home food diary (read: the cheap eats section of my diet) has become a bit inconsistent. In short, it’s a mother’s nightmare: a bag of frozen soybeans, dried fruit, a can of kidney beans, an under-ripe banana. Of course I eat like a vegan emperor when I'm willing to spend money. All you have to do is throw a stone(r) and you’ll hit at least one animal-free dining establishment on any given block, especially in the southeast section of town where I reside. A vegan burrito means that there has to be at least one Abe Lincoln handed over, which is further justification of my pocketing of the packets. Tomorrow I’m reducing my breakfast intake from 12-15 packets to a modest eight. I wasn’t kidding when I called myself an addict. It shall be seen if breakfast becomes as dreaded as a walk past a churrasco.
Current List of Things That I Miss Eating:
sushi
rotisserie chicken
biscuits (still)
raw human flesh
food
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